Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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