yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
