Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
