I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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