So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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