Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
