I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
