I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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