3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
