Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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