When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize