Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize