We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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