You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
