Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
