Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
