dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
