At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
