I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
