come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
