i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
