from now on my penis is your penis
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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