Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
