Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize