My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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