she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
