He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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