woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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