We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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