Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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