i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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