Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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