I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
