hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
