At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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