Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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