my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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