Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
