Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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