id be glad to
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
