Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
