Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
