I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
