Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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