a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
