question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
