i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
