The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
