i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
