Duck Duck Cougar?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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