haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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