We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize