xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
