I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
