I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
