just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
