Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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