just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
