I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think people are normalizing furries
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
