Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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