He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
