it was like fucking gandolphs beard
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize