have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
