Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize